I Think I’m in Love With My Geese (Even the One That Bit My Neck)

I’m happy to report that while geese also have retractable claws (yep, just like ducks), theirs are less like jagged glass shards and more like dog nails. They haven’t tried to maul me with them either, which is an absolute win.

And honestly? I’m kind of obsessed with them.

So far these goslings are super sweet. Let's hope they stay that way!

Right now, they’re about two weeks old and already nearly the same size as the ducks which are just about full-grown. They don’t have feathers yet—they're still covered with soft, downy fuzz that I can only compare to stuffed animal fur. They’re adorable. They’re mellow. And unlike the ducklings, they don’t seem hellbent on slicing me open like feathered assassins.

They flap flap flap around the yard with their giant goofy feet and follow my daughter like she’s their tiny goose queen. They are delightful.

But the best part is snuggling them. Their little bodies feel exactly like breakfast burritos. Same size, weight, warmth, and squish factor. Fuzzy, living, slightly wiggly breakfast burritos. Perfection!

Okay—full disclosure: one did bite me on the neck. But I’m almost positive it was just out of curiosity and not malice.

Also, there was an incident involving explosive goose diarrhea and me having to strip in the garage like I’d just survived a hazmat situation. But even that hasn’t dampened my enthusiasm.

They’re sweet. They’re kinda weird. They might grow up to be jerks—I hear teenage geese can get spicy. But for now, I’m smitten.

Stay tuned for their villain origin story. Or maybe a happily-ever-after. TBD.