Goat Uber: The Art of Transporting Goats Without Losing Your Sanity

Whether it’s for boarding, breeding, or some other goat-related mission, I end up hauling these cutie patooties around way more than I ever expected.

Initially, we used a large dog kennel in the back of the truck. It worked fine—aside from the occasional struggle with stubborn latches and the unfortunate discovery that, on hot summer days, the kennel floor turns into a goat-sized griddle. Ever seen a goat tap dance? Because let me tell you, when their hooves hit a scorching-hot surface, it’s Riverdance meets panic attack. And before you ask—no, pouring water in there to cool it down is not a good idea. Goats hate water, and if you think they get dramatic about a little rain, just wait until you try to turn their ride into a kiddie pool.

Eventually, we wised up and found a better way—just putting them right in the back of my Jeep. No kennel, no fuss, just three Nigerian Dwarf goats chilling in the cargo space like they’re on a road trip. It actually works great! They’re more comfortable, I can chat with them, and, honestly, they even seem to enjoy the radio. (I have yet to find their favorite genre though.)

But let me pass along one crucial piece of advice: Put. Down. A. Tarp. Otherwise, you’ll be scraping trampled poop off the carpeted floor and desperately Googling, How to remove the smell of goat pee from a vehicle.

Don’t be me. Learn from my mistakes.